What it's like to be the other woman

You always hear stories about what it’s like to get cheated on. But what is it like to realise that the person you’re in love with has made a commitment to somebody else?

First thing’s first, you’re in the wrong. I’m going to give you all some tough love here because what you’re both doing is wrong.

You might not have known about it when this fling first begun. How were you to know they already have a significant other? 

It’s so easy to slip off a ring, bullshit a few lies and lead a double fucking life by both men and women alike. Ok, it is so much easier to get caught thanks to the invention of social media, turning anyone with Internet access into a surveillance agent.

But when you find out that your person, the person that you’ve probably been envisioning your whole future with, already has that future with someone else, well, it’s devastating.

A train of irrational thoughts and jumbled emotions varying from hilarity to complete despair will hit you faster and harder than those tequila shots you downed after your last break up.

Let me just state a fact for you right now. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault they fed you lies and you lapped it up. Any warning signs you might have gotten completely bypassed you. Which is normal, when you’re in the honeymoon stage of a relationship you don’t want to believe there’s anything wrong. And why should you? You’re so happy right now, why would you listen to that paranoid voice in your head trying to destruct a good thing?

But the warning signs are there for a reason. And I’m sorry but you just got unlucky. You went fishing and you caught a seahorse.

But

If you don’t throw that seahorse back when you realise it’s not the fish you were hooking for then you’re just as much to blame for your unhappiness as they are. 

Because, let’s face it. You will feel unhappy.

They may tell you that their S/O doesn’t understand them the way you do, that you both share a deep connection that is really special. They'll also throw in a few compliments about you being amazing in bed coupled with how much of an incredible person you are. 

Oh but they're oh so charming. Well they to be; their life is spent juggling two or more people. But unless you’re the S/O then you will always be second best. (or third, or fourth, or fifth – depending on how many side chicks/dicks he/she has).

The main point I’m trying to get across here is that they won’t ever leave the S/O. And why should they have to? They made a commitment to each other and they should stick to that.

And hey, they might even care about you. After all, we’re humans, it’s in our nature to make connections with others.

But if they've made a commitment to someone else, then you have to back away. I know, it’s not fair at the responsibility is left on you. They shouldn’t have even put any of you in that position in the first place. But if you carry on you’ll forever be second best. And you’re not someone that deserves to be treated as someone’s second best.

They won't leave them. 

And if they do then their S/O probably found out what a cheating bastard they are and they've kicked them to the curb.

Just remember, you’re fabulous and you have your whole life ahead of you.

You deserve more.