The Relationship Cleanse

It’s truly sad how some of us can be made to feel worthless and used. At the end of the day we’re all humans, no one should ever feel unworthy of themselves or of another person. But unfortunately we’re living in a world where this happens every day. And it’s becoming more and more frequent.

You might have that friend who rings you up when they need something (like your unbiased advice and your ever-growing wisdom). You’re there for them when they call, but when you really need them they’re busy, or they don’t listen or even worse, they don’t seem to care. Their loyalties lie elsewhere…until they need a lift somewhere of course.

You might also have that one person in your life who will text you at around midnight asking: “what are you up to?”

You reply with something along the lines of “Not much, you?”  when really you’re quite content in bed binge watching a show on Netflix.

You know what’s going to happen. They know what’s going to happen. And it inevitably happens. 

Then there’s no contact with that person until you drunkenly confess your love to them, or they get horny and decide it’s time to satisfy that need again.

I’ve heard lots of stories about how casual sex leads to one side or both sides left feeling used and unhappy. I’m not saying this type of arrangement can’t work because if it’s done right it can. But it still is a fairly new concept in comparison to a monogamous marriage. The rules are sketchy, it can get messy and it can bring out the worst side of you.

Ask yourself this one question. Do you want part-timers in your life? Whether it’s a part-time friend, or a part-time lover.

If you’re not interested in that then let me tell you something. You don’t have to put up with these types of relationships. Don’t secretly hope that your late night booty-call will turn out to be the love of your life. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your “friend” will change. Be brave and learn to tell them how you really feel. Yes it’s scary and yes you might lose people you care about. Or it could all work out. But if it doesn’t then respect yourself enough to walk away from something you don’t deserve. Life is far too short. And you are far too fabulous.

Here’s a quick list on how to fix those toxic relationships in your life (if you’re unlucky enough to have them that is)

1.    Cleanse: If explaining how you feel doesn’t work then cut bad friends/booty calls/toxic relationships out of your life. Remember, you’re not an object, you don’t belong to anyone and you shouldn’t allow anyone to make you feel used, unappreciated or unhappy.

2.    Tone: Now work out what you do want. If you know what you want you’ll be more resistant to attracting what you don’t want. Write a list! It usually helps seeing your goals on paper. It’s also acts as a reminder that keeps you on track if you start to feel yourself sliding back into unhealthy routines.

3.    Moisturise: You need to enrich yourself with family and friends. Just like you pick a certain moisturiser based on your skin type, so should you pick who you spend your time with based on interests, personalities etc. Make sure you put in as much effort into these relationships as much as you expect to gain from them.

So go ahead and give yourself that relationship cleanse, you owe it to yourself.