6 ways to stop the snack attacks

Office jobs are just pseudonyms for happy snackers. As I’m writing this now I’m snacking on a Belvita breakfast biscuit, most of which is falling onto my desk than into my mouth, so I get brownie (mmm, brownies) points for that right?
When it’s only 10:10am and the lunch hour seems like 28 million years away, what do you do? Of course you dig your hand into your slightly over-sized bag and pull out a delicious treat. But then once you start, not even a half-naked Franco brother could stop you absent-mindedly snacking away as if it was a part of your job description. Okay, maybe they could just about stop you. But for us not lucky enough to have the Franco brothers at our disposal, here’s a few realistic ways to stop that snack bug.

1)      Meet your new best friends – Tea and Coffee. Not only do many of us need our caffeine fix but it curbs your appetite in the process. Any drinks with caffeine in it gives you a surge of energy, which in turn, reduces your appetite. Just don’t overload on the caffeine.

2)      And the third wheel of the group – Water. Studies have shown that when you feel like snacking you’re sometimes actually just thirsty. Our mind often confuses hunger and thirst, so instead of reaching for a sugary snack, reach for a cold glass of water instead. It also boosts up your metabolism too! (Win win all around).

3)       The good news. You can still snack! But just snack healthy. I know, the temptation of running down to the shop to pick up a chocolate or a few pastries is seriously tempting, but snacking no longer has to feel like a sin…if you snack healthy. Switch your twirl for blueberries and replace those crisps with some celery sticks. They last longer than foods that are high in sugar and salt anyway. 

4)      Keep yourself busy. Dive into your work and always ask for more tasks to fulfil. It will keep you busy AND you’ll look good in front of your boss.

5)      Eat a really great lunch. If you’ve planned an amazing lunch, you wouldn’t want to ruin that by snacking yourself full would you? It also helps curb the case of the snack attacks in the afternoon too!

6)      Chewing gum. Sometimes, you just need some chewing action and the  answer is gum. Try to get sugar free before you end up with rotting teeth. Yum.

You Don’t Fall, You Shred.

Why is it that as soon as you establish a bewildering deep connection, a bond that feels so unbreakable that it could surpass death, you start to feel other connections waver? This new bond, both beautiful and perplexing, exciting and terrifying, exhilarating and demanding gifts you with a breath of life. A breath, so urgently desired, it awakens every spectacle of your body and conscious. And at first, it demands to be felt. But then you demand to feel it, again and again and again.

Balancing this is tricky. You never feel safe nor sane. There’s just this endless panic that cries for your attention. It’s a fear that quietly smothers your soul and impalpably suffocates. But when you fall, you don’t fall in absoluteness. You’re not defined by this. Parts of you will always stay up. You’re in control of which part falls. Of which part you shred.

It’s impossible to keep your inner core, your feelings, approaches, outlooks, and thoughts frozen alive balancing on a tight rope. Every step you take forces a movement, which imposes a change. You’re suddenly unearthing parts of you that you never even knew. But you soon will.

It’s impossible not to shred away parts of your old skin. It’s impossible not to shred away parts of your old self. It’s impossible not to shred away parts of your soul.

Why?

To make room for the different, for the new, for the curiosity that is embedded in each of us.

It’s not falling, it’s shredding. And once you get over the fear, it’s like breathing for the first time.

10 healthy ways to escape the mundaneness of reality

 1) Read a book. 

      This will always be my top answer for escaping any situation. It doesn’t matter what type of book you read, it will transport you to another world. A world where your problems suddenly disappear as you immerse yourself into someone else’s story. You start to think about someone else’s life as much as your own. You will laugh, cry and grow along with each character you meet. As you venture further into their world, your world slowly fails to exist and it’s wonderfully refreshing. 

2)  Walk whilst listening to music

      If you can’t afford a plane ticket, then an iPod and a pair of decent earphones are the next best thing. It’s healthy to allow yourself some time alone to recuperate and if your house is far too crowded, grab your iPod and walk. Don’t even think about where you want to go – just walk. Let your feet wander and free your thoughts. It’s more therapeutic than you may think. 

            3) Talk to a stranger

      Or if that step seems a bit too daunting, then smile at a stranger. A quick social interaction between yourself and someone you have not established a connection with not only builds confidence but it’s scientifically known to make you happy. Or if that seems unnerving then chat to a stranger online. www.blahtherapy.com is a website specifically aimed to connect strangers across the globe to rant about their problems. Which brings me onto my next point…
  

        

      4) Write

      This is another personal favourite of mine. There are so many different forms of writing that suits a lot of people. Story writing, blogging, poetry, journals & diaries, lyrics, the list goes on. A blank piece of paper and the marvels of your mind can take you to the most wonderful places. You can create a whole world where you’re in control of every little detail. You can make this world as perfect or as flawed as you wish. Dare to escape into a world that is not your own.  

      

      5) Take photographs of strangers

      This a more lifelike way of indulging into someone else’s world. You will tend to get a feeling of sonder, when you realise that each stranger has a life that is as complex as your own.

      

      6) Watch inspirational, deep-meaningful films

      Proponents of cinema therapy say that, in addition to getting award nods, these and other movies can and will change the way we think, feel, and ultimately deal with life's ups and downs. An increasing number of therapists prescribe movies to help their patients explore their psyches. And while few therapists have actually gone so far as to package their practices around cinema therapy, movies -- like art, books, and music -- are becoming one more tool to help those in therapy achieve their goals and overcome their hurdles.  Here’s a few movies that could help;
- Castaway
-Into The Wild

-Spirited Away

-Life of Pi
-127 Hours
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -Forrest Gump
-The Shawshank Redemption
-The Pursuit of Happiness
-The Blindside
-Slumdog Millionaire

  7) Cook

      As soon as you get out the pots and pans you’re instantly focused on creating something delicious. There is only a primary focus on whether that spice will blend with your meat. If you’re not much of a cook like myself, then there are a plethora of websites that are at your disposal. BBC Good Foods is a personal favourite. 

    

     8)  Exercise

In the words of Elle Woods “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.” The hardest part is always starting, but just imagine that inevitable good feeling you’ll get after you’ve finished that workout.  

             

      9) Bath

      Imagine being comforted by a liquid blanket hugging your skin while you relax in a deep serenity surrounded by exotic smells that will create an illusion that you’re at a spa in the Caribbean. Now who wouldn’t want that?

1       

10) Meditate

This is conventionally a fairly sceptical practice. According to Lifehacker.com, “Using modern technology like fMRI scans, scientists have developed a more thorough understanding of what’s taking place in our brains when we meditate. The overall difference is that our brains stop processing information as actively as they normally would. We start to show a decrease in beta waves, which indicate that our brains are processing information, even after a single 20-minute meditation session if we’ve never tried it before.

In the image below you can see how the beta waves (shown in bright colours on the left) are dramatically reduced during meditation (on the right).” According to experts a better focus, less anxiety, more creativity, more compassion, a better memory and less stress is just some of the benefits that are gained from meditation. (For more information, check out http://lifehacker.com/what-happens-to-the-brain-when-you-meditate-and-how-it-1202533314)

12 things that The Sweetest Thing taught us

(Disclaimer: If you can’t detect the sarcastic points then you probably should not be reading this)

1) It's not only guys who love the chase

2) It's perfectly acceptable to pretend you and your BFF are lovers

3)...Even if she's not aware of this new dynamic to your friendship

4) The real reason why girls go to the bathroom together is to feel each other's breasts (duh)

5) Driving across the country to stop the man of your dreams from getting married is okay (even if you only met him for ten minutes while you were wasted in a club)

6) Nothing good ever comes from urinating in men's toilets (whatever you do, don't follow the yellow brick road)

7) Singing "I don't want to miss a thing" can get you out of a lot of sucky situations

8) If you can't explain the stain then the answer is not the laundrette

9) If you're Cameron Diaz, you can make any look work (even granny pants)

10) Thou shall not wallow in self pity

11) It's never shameful to flirt your way to a free drink

12) And the sweetest thing that you could ever do for a woman 

The ignorance of sexual harassment amongst students

The ever-arising presence of ‘ladism’ in Universities is proving to be the route of sexual harassments amongst students.

It’s a Wednesday night, but that really doesn’t matter. Time fails to exist here. You can’t hear the sound of a clock ticking by 
acting as a reminder that your deadline is approaching. Nor can you hear the distressed 'no' leaving a trembling mouth. The only sound that exists here is the music penetrating your skin. The only reality here is intoxicant thirst quenchers coupled with colourful capsules and short skirts. '#shamelessselfies', nonchalant kissing and endless dancing are amongst the few activities that reigns here. Yes, I'm talking about clubbing. More specifically, student nightlife and all the wonderful horrors harassment that comes along with it.  

Southampton is notoriously known for it’s wild nights. It’s up there with the best amongst London, Manchester, Liverpool and Newcastle. But the city is also host to a new indignity, an indignity that is frequently being humoured and normalised by the masses. An indignity known all too well by 21-year-old student, Ella Stanley: “I love being a student. I’m in my third year now and I’m going to be devastated when it ends. But as much fun as it is, when you’re with the girls, having a drink, a dance and letting your hair down, I don’t think it can cover the fact of what it’s like to be a girl, in a club where you get constantly grabbed.”

Ella says she’s not the only one that feels this way when it comes to student nightlife: “The scary thing is, I couldn’t just tell you one story of sexual harassment, I could tell you several. And this is all too familiar for most British students that are regular club goers.

“Quite recently, my friends and I were walking down the street to go Switch, a popular club in Southampton, when this guy came out of a shop, looked at my breasts and said ‘nice tits on you, love’ and physically put his hands on them. Me and my friends pushed him away and carried on walking, but he was still hurling obscenities at us. And that was just on the way to club. It’s pretty much the same inside the clubs, and the worst thing is, it’s seen as a part of the experience of clubbing.”

According to a survey produced by the NUS in 2010, 68% of young women have experienced sexual harassment whilst studying at university or college.

This is an alarming number, and Ella isn’t the only student who has been a victim of sexual harassment either.

Christine Morgan, 23, a Student at Southampton Solent University states: “I went out for my best friend’s Birthday back last year. We were all having such a good night, the drinks were flowing but I kept mine to a minimum because I had work early the next day. Me and my friends decided to dance whilst a few of my guy friends went to get drinks at the bar. I was dancing away and I was really enjoying myself until I felt a pair of hands grab my waist. I felt instantly uncomfortable and thought it was inappropriate as I’m very happy with my boyfriend of five years, so I moved away. However, he was persistent and grabbed my waste again. I told him that I wasn’t interested as I’m in a relationship. I obviously hurt his pride as he told me I shouldn’t be wearing what I’m wearing if I have a boyfriend, and that ‘people only dress that way if they’re after a shag’.

“I was extremely upset and went home after that. As much as I hate to admit this, it’s really put me off going out and dressing up. I used to love wearing nice dresses and showing a bit of leg. I did it for me, not for anyone else. But now I’d just rather throw on a pair of jeans and a nice top instead.”

That wasn’t the only time Christine felt threatened by a man either, she explains: “This one was during my first year of fresher’s week. We were all drinking and getting to know each other. As I bought a wristband I didn’t want to miss a night out, plus I was a fresher, and as the saying goes ‘you’re only a fresher once’ so I wanted to make the most of it. My friends and I decided to go to the main event, which was a rave, specifically for students. The atmosphere was electric when we got there. It was filled with alcohol-fuelled students all chasing a night they would not remember in the morning. Unfortunately for me, I remembered this night particularly well.

“Again, I was dancing and as flattering as it is getting attention, it’s also very uncomfortable. Especially as I suffer from social anxiety which I’ve only recently gotten under control. But this particular attention I received was definitely not wanted. It started with the usual hands on hips. My friend pulled me away and I thought that was that, until the guy showed up behind me and my friend and tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around and he shouted over the music ‘I’ll buy you both a drink if you two kiss each other’. I instantly said no but then he grabbed both of our heads and tried to push us together to force us to kiss. My friend pushed his hand away and then physically pushed him away. He then shouted something that I didn’t quite catch. But the scary thing was is that he must have been a student too, as it was a student’s only night.”

Christine, amongst many others believes that this is to do with the ever-growing presence of ‘Lad Culture’ in universities.

The NUS report ‘That’s What She Said’ explores this so called ‘Lad Culture’ and the findings are very concerning. The report found that sexual harassment and violence were related to ‘lad culture’, which included verbal harassment and ‘catcalling’, as well as physical harassment and sexual molestation. The report exposed that groping in nightclubs is seen as a part of a normal night out. Clubs were also found as the hub of ‘ladism’ and nightclub promoters engaged in ‘lad culture’ to encourage their business.

The normalising of lad culture spurs on sexual harassment, so what is anyone doing about it? Are we just a society that is negligent of serious punishable crimes?

NUS’s Women’s Officer, Kelly Temple wrote a letter to Women’s Minister Jo Swinson explaining: “The study found a worrying prevalence of ‘lad culture’ and the report will make uncomfortable reading for many of us - NUS and students’ unions included - when it comes to our own responsibilities. ‘Lad culture’ is a problem that needs to be urgently addressed.”

This domineering lad culture has produced a worry amongst many, but with so many students left feeling unsafe in their own University how can it be stopped?

According to the law, touching another person in a sexual way when it’s non-consensual is defined as sexual assault.  Another report by the NUS investigated sexual assault amongst students. The report found that only 4% of students reported a serious sexual assault to their institution and only a 10% of students reported the assault to the police. 1 in 7 women students experience serious physical or sexual assault during their time as a student, which is a serious number. But this is only subjected to women students. It’s not only females who gain unwanted attention at clubs either. Southampton Solent University student, Daniel Joseph, 22 says: “I was on a night out with my friends and my girlfriend, when this girl came up to me and kissed me. I pushed her off but then she accused me of physically assaulting her and I got kicked out of the club.”

When asked if he did anything about it Daniel stated: “There’s no point, what are they going to do arrest a girl for kissing me? And anyway, who’s going to believe me? Especially when it comes to bouncers in clubs. They always favour girls.

“Not only that, but I looked like an idiot in front of the boys. They kept on making jokes that I should have carried on kissing her.”

Daniel isn’t the only one that felt pressure from groups of lads spurring each other on either.

Senior Policy Adviser for Equality Challenge Unit, Polly Williams said in the report that: "A dominant 'lad culture' may also damage the student experience of many male students, who either feel that they have to conform, or become disengaged from campus life to avoid it." So what is to be done about it? Where there is free will, there will always be inequality. Where there's inequality there will always be gender issues, which unfortunately, sexual harassment is a major part of this issue.

But how this harassment gets controlled is what matters most. In a utopic world, sexual harassment wouldn't even exist. It would be a term of the past, a piece of history. But all we can do is urge both men and women to understand the fine line between fun and harassment. You might not remember the night before, but it will haunt the victim for the rest of his or her life. 

The difficulty in ending an emotionally invested situation

It’s never the right time to end things. There’s not a specific time to end a difficult situation. I mean, it would probably be a lot easier. Like oh, 6:13pm on a Tuesday is doomsday. You have to decide by that exact time. Clock’s ticking. Countdown beings. Tick-tock. 

Putting pressure on yourself will probably give you the answer you need.

But unfortunately, there’s no life-threatening emotional countdown to dig that answer out of you. You only have logic (occasionally), your friends and a big bottle of wine to help you through this situation.

And sometimes, even that doesn’t feel like enough.

So what can you do? Listen to your friends? Go out and get wasted so you can’t even remember that impending decision you have on your hands? Go to a psychic? Open a huge tub of ice cream (not even ben and jerry’s – who can afford to splash out that much in this economic climate?) and top it with salty tears?

Sure you can do all that.

But ultimately, you still have a decision to make and that decision lies with you. Nothing will change until you make a change.

You just have to decide whether you want things to change or not.

Accepting what you need is probably one of the hardest understandings you’ll ever have to come to terms with.

Because what you want and what you need is probably two different things.

You can’t stick with something that constantly makes you unhappy just because you’re afraid of losing someone. Ok, the situation might not even make you constantly unhappy. It could vary from once a week to a couple times a year. But if this sadness completely consumes you to the point where you don’t care about a single thing that was once important to you then that’s when you know you need to stop. Or you’ll end up losing yourself. And once you’ve lost yourself, well, it’s pretty hard to come back from that.

You just have to work out what's worth it and what isn't. 

The rawness of delusions

You know what a delusive feeling is? Knowing that something isn’t going to work out. But you fool yourself into an unsecured false hope, desperately expecting a different outcome. But deep down, deep, deep down, every single bone inside you is screaming that you’re setting yourself up for a fall down. The longer you deceive yourself, the more you’re going to hurt. But you just can’t stop. Can’t stop hoping and praying that it’ll work out. Because the truth is, you’ll take whatever you can get now and you don’t care about paying for it later. Right now, in this moment, it’s worth it.