(Disclaimer: If you can’t detect the
sarcastic points then you probably should not be reading this)
1) It's not only guys who love the chase
2) It's perfectly acceptable to pretend you and your BFF are lovers
3)...Even if she's not aware of this new dynamic to your friendship
4) The real reason why girls go to the bathroom together is to feel each other's breasts (duh)
5) Driving across the country to stop the man of your dreams from getting married is okay (even if you only met him for ten minutes while you were wasted in a club)
6) Nothing good ever comes from urinating in men's toilets (whatever you do, don't follow the yellow brick road)
7) Singing "I don't want to miss a thing" can get you out of a lot of sucky situations
8) If you can't explain the stain then the answer is not the laundrette
9) If you're Cameron Diaz, you can make any look work (even granny pants)
10) Thou shall not wallow in self pity
11) It's never shameful to flirt your way to a free drink
12) And the sweetest thing that you could ever do for a woman
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